To wish to be well is part of becoming well.
— Seneca


I would prematurely forgive who hurt me if I let go of my pain.

It’s part of my identity.

I have shame or feel unworthy to let it go.

I don’t deserve to feel better.

It’s punishment.

It’s power.

If the pain is dealt with the trauma really happened.

It’s a role.  “I’m the one who was hurt.”

If I let go of my pain something bad will happen.

It’s a way of connecting to the environment and others.

It’s companionship when lonely.

I pain therefore I am.

Pain brings me personal rewards.

Without the pain I won’t receive sympathy from others.

It distracts me from other pain, problems, and things.

It is a way of avoiding responsibility.

It keeps me from dealing with issues or people - It simplifies life.

If you are a victim of pain you don’t have to be accountable.

Meaning in pain- martyrdom.

The pain helps me avoid unpleasant situations.

Releasing my pain sounds dangerous.

It’s way of getting drugs.

My pain creates an altered state(s) of consciousness.

My pain is part of my belief system.

It’s an escape.

What if I’m whole and still not good enough?

What am I going to do without pain?

I’m afraid to be whole-no more excuses.

Pride-I can’t just be the person I am without pain.

What of me is left without the pain?

Self-acceptance is a problem. 

Pain makes it less an issue.

I have fear of the unknown.

With my pain I feel safe.